ZeRappa The Rappa
by Firecross Knight
Summary: A demented parody of FFVIII and PaRappa the Rappa. I know that it's prolly not very funny, and very stupid.
1. In the Beginning...or Rather, The Cafete...

ZeRappa The Rappa!  
  
By: Kris aka. CheesyPoofs1988  
  
Read and Review: YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Flames: Sure, go ahead, I'll just laugh and delete it.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, Parappa the Rappa, or Dr. Pepper. Please, don't sue me! I don't really have anything other than my computer, my games, and my TV.  
  
  
  
_______________  
  
One day, the entire FFVIII gang was at the Cafeteria. They were ordering lunch, and none of them would ever have guessed that Zell would soon begin an adventure…  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (A cheeseburger with fries and a small chocolate shake) :: gets his food and silently walks over, gets his food and pays for it::  
  
Rinoa (with hearts for eyes): I'll have whatever my Squally is having… ::little pinks hearts are floating off of her head:: ::follows Squall over to counter to get her food, but trips because she never takes her eyes off of Squall. She is impaled on a large spike that appears on the floor, and Dr. Kadawaki appears and drags her away::  
  
  
  
Selphie: I'll have a small salad with a diet soda. ::Bounces over to counter, being sure to skip on Rinoa's blood, and gets her food::  
  
  
  
Irvine: I'll have some hot luvin' with a side of pussy… ::punched by Seifer:: Ok, ok… I'll have a popped cherry, and… ::is knocked out by Seifer and lands in Rinoa's spot on the floor::  
  
  
  
Seifer: I'll have a hamburger, fries, onion rings, and a Dr. Pepper. ::Gets his food::  
  
  
  
Quistis: I'll have tuna on wheat, with a side salad, and a small glass of orange juice. ::gets her food::  
  
  
  
Kris: I'll have some stir fried vegetables, tofu, and soymilk. ::is stared at by everyone, especially the lunch guy::  
  
  
  
All: What are you doing here?!?!?!  
  
  
  
Kris:: I just had to write myself into the story!! And I thought the best way was to be ordering my health food in line in front of our hero.  
  
  
  
All: O………kay….::stare at Kris as he gets his food and hurries away::  
  
  
  
Lunch Guy: Hey, my money!! ::Kris' fingers run over the keyboard and her hands are full of gil:: Thank you!!!!!  
  
  
  
Zell: Finally!!! I'm having HOTDOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Lunch Guy:: I'm sorry, but since my mom died and I'm the one in charge of the cafeteria, there haven't been any hotdogs…  
  
  
  
Zell: But I just got hotdogs here this morning…  
  
  
  
Lunch Guy: I know, Dr. Kadawaki said that she has a major heart attack when I stabbed her with that knife yesterday…  
  
  
  
::the lunch guy's mom's ghost appears, and strange, rhythmic music starts playing::  
  
  
  
Ghost of Lunch Lady:: Come on, boy! Don't you remember what Mother Dearest told you? It's time you had a crash course on cooking… ZeRappa the Rappa style!!!!  
  
  
  
Zell (on a funky rainbow background): I know! I gotta believe!!!  
  
  
  
LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…  
  
  
  
------------  
  
::In Kitchen, with funky music playing in background. Chibi Selphie appears::  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie:: Come on, Zell, Relax. Time to practice!  
  
  
  
(A/N: all text from here to the point where I stop it is in rhythm)  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Cook them dogs!  
  
Zell: Cook them dogs!  
  
Chibi Selphie: Toast those buns!  
  
  
  
Zell: Toast them buns!  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Spread the relish!  
  
Zell: Spread the relish!  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Glob the mustard!  
  
  
  
Zell: Glob the… oops!  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Smear the catsup!  
  
  
  
Zell: Smear the ketchup!  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Cook them dogs!  
  
Zell: Cook them dogs!  
  
Chibi Selphie: Toast those buns!  
  
  
  
Zell: Toast them buns!  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Spread the relish!  
  
Zell: Spread the relish!  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Glob the mustard!  
  
  
  
Zell: Glob the… oops!  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Smear the catsup!  
  
  
  
Zell: Smear the ketchup!  
  
  
  
  
  
Chibi Selphie: Okay! That's it! Time for the real thing!  
  
  
  
LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…LOADING… 


	2. A Trip to the Dojo

ZeRappa The Rappa!  
  
By: Kris aka. CheesyPoofs1988  
  
Read and Review: YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Flames: Sure, go ahead, I'll just laugh and delete it.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, Parappa the Rappa, or Dr. Pepper. Please, don't sue me! I don't really have anything other than my computer, my games, and my TV.  
  
___  
  
LOADING… LOADING… LOADING… LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…  
  
::Zell walks in wearing a dog costume::  
  
Zell: Offaky, mmmmreakogy fer the gfammme  
  
  
  
Kris: Zell, what on earth are you doing???  
  
  
  
Zell: Iasdj'mf befginsd PagjrePappaf  
  
  
  
Kris: TAKE OFF THE STUPID MASK!!!!!  
  
  
  
Zell: ::takes off mask:: I'm being Parappa!  
  
  
  
Kris: … Dare I ask?  
  
  
  
Zell: While ya took yer damn, sweet time writing 'dis chapta', I played da real game, 'n found out that Parappa's a dog. Thus, the costume…  
  
  
  
Kris: … Let's just get the ghost in here so she can humiliate Zell…  
  
  
  
Stage Crew member: Sorry, Kris. The ghost's in makeup, she smudged her photo-plasm.  
  
  
  
Kris: You've got to be kidding me… ::rolls eyes:: What're the other options?!?!?!?!  
  
  
  
Crew Member: We've got the Chop Chop Onion dude, or the insane cooking chicken.  
  
  
  
Kris: …! Alright, we're improvising! Zell! You can be the karate sensei- thingy. Squall! You are learning karate from Zell! You're motivation --  
  
  
  
Squall: --That I don't give a damn?  
  
  
  
Kris: Actually, yes…  
  
  
  
Director: Ready? Lights! Cameras! Action!  
  
__  
  
LOADING… LOADING… LOADING… LOADING… LOADING… LOADING…  
  
__  
  
::A chibi Rinoa appears::  
  
  
  
Chibi Rinoa: Alright, my dearest Squally!!! Today you're going to be learning Gunblade Fu! Incorperating your weapon into Zell's Kung Fu! Let's Practice! Just relax.  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever…  
  
  
  
Chibi Rinoa: ::bad music starts:: Kick!  
  
  
  
Sqaull: ::twitch at the sides of his mouth that almost resembles a smile:: …whatever… (Kick!) ::Kicks the Chibi Rinoa right in the ass::  
  
  
  
Chibi Rinoa: OW!! Punch!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (Punch!) ::Punches the chibi Rinoa in the nose, which starts bleeding profusely::  
  
  
  
Chibi Rinoa: O~W!!! ::now has nasal sounding voice:: Slice!  
  
  
  
Squall:: …whatever… (Slice!) ::Cuts Chibi Rinoa in half::  
  
  
  
Chibi Rinoa: How DARE you!!! ::Evil black flames surround the Chibi Rinoa and the two halves become two Chibi Rinoas:: Muhahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (Eden!) ::Summons Eden on her sorry ass::  
  
  
  
Chibi Rinoas: *fizzle*  
  
  
  
Kris: It's about time someone shut that bitch up! I mean, a chibi Selphie is cute and can totally pull it off, but she's just annoying!!! And she's suppose to be dead anyway!!!  
  
  
  
::Chibi Seifer appears::  
  
  
  
Fangirls/boys everywhere: ::dro~~~~~~ol:: He's…….so………KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::rush at the chibi Seifer and shred his clothes, some to look at his naked body, others to sell them on E-Bay::  
  
  
  
Kris: Ugh… I guess I'll just have to make another guest appearance…  
  
  
  
::chibi Kris appears, everybody boos::  
  
  
  
Chibi Kris:: ::anime nerve:: Just load the damn rap scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Director: Lights! Cameras! Loading!!!  
  
__  
  
LOADING… LOADING… LOADING… LOADING… LOADING… LOADING…  
  
__  
  
::Set in a dojo::  
  
Zell (in really *nice* looking karate suit, with a black belt): Cha`wahubidadubidaCHA! ::cough:: I could never make that stupid sound the onion dude does anyway… Oh well!  
  
___  
  
LESSON 1  
  
___  
  
Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind, if ya wanna test me, I'll do ya fine. The thin's I'll teach ya' are gonna beatcha', but nevertheless you're getting' a lesson from teacha'!  
  
Now, Kick!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whateer… (Kick!)  
  
  
  
Zell: Punch!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (Punch!)  
  
  
  
Zell: Slash!  
  
  
  
Squall: …oops… (Yaoi!)  
  
  
  
Kris: Wrong kind of Slash! XD  
  
  
  
Zell: ::anime nerve:: …Parry!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (Parry!)  
  
  
  
Zell: Pose!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (Pose!)  
  
  
  
Zell: Slice!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (Slice!)  
  
___  
  
LESSON 2  
  
___  
  
Zell: What's the matter now? Not getting' tired, are ya, ya foo! I'm gonna work ya'…like a dog! Never give up, never give up!  
  
Now Kick and Punch!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (Kick and Punch!)  
  
  
  
Zell: Slice, parry!  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (Slice, parry!)  
  
  
  
Zell: Slash and pose!  
  
  
  
Squall …whatever… ::thinks of acertian "slash" position he's been in with Seifer a few times before::  
  
  
  
Kris: … I don't know where that came from and I'm the insane peron writing this piece of work…  
  
  
  
Zell: ::sweatdrop:: Cold Shower! ::points to Squall's…problem::  
  
  
  
Squall: …oops… (I showered this morning)  
  
___  
  
LESSON 3  
  
___  
  
Zell: Come on now! Why don't you follow my words? I got the whole fuckin' neighborhood listenin' to our game. Better shape up, better shape up! I'll kick your ass out of here! Time for a battle!  
  
Now Punch, turn, and kick it. ::punches the air infront o Squall, turns and kicks Squall's…problem::  
  
  
  
Kris: Now that's just plain embarrassing…  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatever… (that hurt you MoFo!!)  
  
  
  
Zell: Check the wound! ::Goes over and checks out Squall's "injury" and accidentally rubs it too hard in the process::  
  
  
  
Squall: …whatEVER..! (come, HARD!!) ::Zell's hand gets sticky::  
  
  
  
Kris: Now just stop!!! Squall! You pass and move on to the next level, Zell, go back to the kitchen and wait for that damn broad!!!  
  
  
  
TBC…  
  
Kris: Ya know, one of the best parts of making yourself part of the fic is that you can be lazy and put your notes right in it ::giggle::! Now, because of that I'm sure **wonderful** yoai scene up there, I'm gonna have to wait for 69 reviews before another chapter. TEE-HEE!  
  
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Author's Notes: I just have to first say, that those notes up there are still part of the parody, and I don't expect many reviews, **at all**. But I still want them ::puppie dog eyes:: Oh, and on that topic, I don't ever type "::giggle" or "TEE-HEE", but I do do puppie dog eyes.  
  
  
  
Final Note, I promise, I don't know where that little romp in the dojo came from, probably from a lack of sleep, and wanting desperately to not make the rapping boring. While that was a small bit of yaoi (as far as I'm concerned, not even enough for a warning about yaoi), and was in a humor/parody, I was so not making fun of yaoi. I just can't wait for the flames to start coming in!!! 


End file.
